Granny's going to a home
I am a horrible person.
Let me back up a bit. For the past few months, my grandmother has not been doing too great. Twice she was found fast asleep while her dinner burned on the stove. Had my mother not stopped by to check on her, the house would have surely gone up in flames and her along with it. After that, we decided it was not a good idea for her to have to cook dinner for herself. (Breakfast and lunch were ok because they did not require the use of the stove or oven) So, my mother and sister and I started taking turns going over to her house to spend some time with her, cook dinner and get her to bed. This was fine until 2 1/2 weeks ago when she lost her balance and fell down. She wasn't hurt, but she is so frail and weak that she couldn't get herself up off the floor. Then, later that day, I was there to cook dinner and watched her through the window slip off her bed and onto the floor again. She had been struggling to get her shoes off for about 20 minutes before I got there and for 10 minutes I watched helplessly as she continued to fight with those damn shoes. I kept telling her to forget about the shoes and crawl over to the sliding glass door and unlock it so I could come in and help her. She either wasn't listening or she didn't hear me because she kept messing with them. She finally lost her balance and slipped off the bed and onto the floor. It's a good thing my BF was there to figure out how to break in because I didn't have a key. After that, we decided that she can't be alone in her house at all anymore. "So how is that supposed to work?", I asked. I was told that we would "just figure it out".
The thing is, I have a job that requires me to actually be at work. My sister has a job that requires she be at work. My mom...the same. How can we be with her 24 hrs a day and still earn a living? There is another thing. That is, granny doesn't want to move from her house and she doesn't want anyone to live with her. That puts a real monkey wrench in any plans any of us had for the near future. Also, to top it all off, my sister is about 8 1/2 months pregnant and will soon not be able to do anything but take care of her new baby. That leaves me and my mother to take care of granny 24 hours a day.
It seems that we have the daytime taken care of now. Grandma's Long Term Care policy provides a meager amount to pay for home health care. We now have Maria come Monday-Friday from 7am-5pm. This allows everyone to go to work. That leaves us with taking care of her from 5pm-7am. Yep, you guessed it, spend the night. Also, she needs 24 hour care on the weekends. You guessed it again, we take turns spending 24 hours with her. The worst part is that she doesn't want to leave her house. So when it is my day, I have to spend the entire 24 hours inside her house with the windows closed up tighter than Fort Knox. (old people chill easily, you know). I never knew time could pass by so slowly! This brings me to my original statement: I am a horrible person.
Never in my life would I have thought I would want to put granny in a "home". It always seemed to be such a death sentence. But the reality of this situation is that she can't live by herself with no one to supervise her and she refuses to have someone come and live with her. So, we have to pick the lesser of two evils at this point, right? This "home" is an assisted living facility that would provide her the care and attention that she needs.
I feel horrible that we are even considering this, but I CAN'T be counted on to spend every other night at my Grandma's house. I have commitments and responsibilities that I either can't or don't want to cancel. I need those activites for my sanity. I know my mom feels the same way. I think I am just trying to justify the fact that she needs to go but I don't want to be the one to put her there.
Let me back up a bit. For the past few months, my grandmother has not been doing too great. Twice she was found fast asleep while her dinner burned on the stove. Had my mother not stopped by to check on her, the house would have surely gone up in flames and her along with it. After that, we decided it was not a good idea for her to have to cook dinner for herself. (Breakfast and lunch were ok because they did not require the use of the stove or oven) So, my mother and sister and I started taking turns going over to her house to spend some time with her, cook dinner and get her to bed. This was fine until 2 1/2 weeks ago when she lost her balance and fell down. She wasn't hurt, but she is so frail and weak that she couldn't get herself up off the floor. Then, later that day, I was there to cook dinner and watched her through the window slip off her bed and onto the floor again. She had been struggling to get her shoes off for about 20 minutes before I got there and for 10 minutes I watched helplessly as she continued to fight with those damn shoes. I kept telling her to forget about the shoes and crawl over to the sliding glass door and unlock it so I could come in and help her. She either wasn't listening or she didn't hear me because she kept messing with them. She finally lost her balance and slipped off the bed and onto the floor. It's a good thing my BF was there to figure out how to break in because I didn't have a key. After that, we decided that she can't be alone in her house at all anymore. "So how is that supposed to work?", I asked. I was told that we would "just figure it out".
The thing is, I have a job that requires me to actually be at work. My sister has a job that requires she be at work. My mom...the same. How can we be with her 24 hrs a day and still earn a living? There is another thing. That is, granny doesn't want to move from her house and she doesn't want anyone to live with her. That puts a real monkey wrench in any plans any of us had for the near future. Also, to top it all off, my sister is about 8 1/2 months pregnant and will soon not be able to do anything but take care of her new baby. That leaves me and my mother to take care of granny 24 hours a day.
It seems that we have the daytime taken care of now. Grandma's Long Term Care policy provides a meager amount to pay for home health care. We now have Maria come Monday-Friday from 7am-5pm. This allows everyone to go to work. That leaves us with taking care of her from 5pm-7am. Yep, you guessed it, spend the night. Also, she needs 24 hour care on the weekends. You guessed it again, we take turns spending 24 hours with her. The worst part is that she doesn't want to leave her house. So when it is my day, I have to spend the entire 24 hours inside her house with the windows closed up tighter than Fort Knox. (old people chill easily, you know). I never knew time could pass by so slowly! This brings me to my original statement: I am a horrible person.
Never in my life would I have thought I would want to put granny in a "home". It always seemed to be such a death sentence. But the reality of this situation is that she can't live by herself with no one to supervise her and she refuses to have someone come and live with her. So, we have to pick the lesser of two evils at this point, right? This "home" is an assisted living facility that would provide her the care and attention that she needs.
I feel horrible that we are even considering this, but I CAN'T be counted on to spend every other night at my Grandma's house. I have commitments and responsibilities that I either can't or don't want to cancel. I need those activites for my sanity. I know my mom feels the same way. I think I am just trying to justify the fact that she needs to go but I don't want to be the one to put her there.
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