It's official...


I am so ashamed. I called the cops on a party in my neighborhood last night. They were being loud after 11:00pm on a weeknight and I called the cops. I suppose I could have gone over and asked them to keep it down, but it was cold and I didn't want to go outside. Could I be any more Ebeneezer-like? I have become that which I swore I never would...old! Why do I think I am old, you might ask?


Reason #1: I like to go to bed early. By early, I mean before the bars have last call and after Grey's Anatomy is over (post 11:00pm, but not much!). Young people don't like to go to bed early, they like to stay up late. Probably some way of rebelling against the parents for making them go to bed early for 16 years.


Reason #2: My joints ache when it is cold. This is clearly something that is exclusive to old people.


Reason #3: I injured my back. This one is not as exclusive to "old people", but I hurt mine by lifting a box of papers, not from rescuing some cat from a tree or playing sports, so it can be counted as one of the reasons. Nice logic, huh?


Reason #4: I think kids play their music too loud. Loud music seems so ridiculous to me now. I walk by Abercrombie & Fitch at the mall and have to plug my ears because it is so noisy. I can't even hear myself think. I wonder about the hearing damage those employees will have to suffer because of their employer. Probably grounds for a class-action lawsuit.


Reason #5: People drive too fast. This is not age-ist of me. Old & young alike are guilty of this crime. I suppose I am flexible on this one because freeway driving doesn't seem fast enough. However, when you are driving down a residential street, you should slow down. There are kids, pets, OLD PEOPLE, etc. who may be walking and...just SLOW DOWN!!!


Reason #6: I like things the way I like 'em. Although I feel that I am open to new ideas about the world and other points of view, I am surprisingly set in my ways regarding daily operations. Last week, I got mad at my boyfriend for not cleaning something the "right" way. I'm sure he is perfectly capable of cleaning, but not the way I do it. Therefore, he must be wrong, right?


Reason #7: I think mini-skirts and too much make-up are "whorish". (Insert picture of my 87 year old grandmother here)


Reason #8: I no longer live paycheck to paycheck. I know this should be a relief but when I think about how I lived as a young adult - pay rent late, getting gas & electric shut off, stealing food from the supermarket because I didn't have enough money to get essentials like peanut butter or tortillas - I long for the freedom from credit card bills, car payments and mortgages.


Reason #9: I think my parents are smart. It came as a real shock when I realized my parents actually did have some life experience to draw from and weren't just telling me to do things because they wanted me to be miserable.


Reason #10: I have to dye my hair to cover the gray. Tragic.
Reason #11: I like to take photos of flowers.
Am I an OLD LADY or what?

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